


Fumbling to Make Contact

by BurningBroadripple



Series: What is this Feeling [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkward First Times, Domestic Fluff, Eren Is a Little Shit, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hanji is a good wing woman, Hormones man, Levi Is Bad At Feelings, M/M, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teen Angst, but it's very implicit and fluffy, canonverse, there's sex now sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningBroadripple/pseuds/BurningBroadripple
Summary: Levi struggles with showing affection in their new relationship - thankfully his soulmark makes it a bit easier.





	1. Nice View

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of It's Always the Quiet One, but can be read as a standalone piece. Fluffy fluff fluff of these two dorks figuring out how to be together because there is a shit storm of angst coming our way this season and we could all use a little fluff.
> 
> Each chapter is a drabble or one shot. 
> 
> Please enjoy the feels.
> 
> EDIT: There's also some angst and some humor and some romantic sex and the last two chapters are really long I guess? Because I apparently couldn't just give you fluffy drabbles.

**July 26th, 853**

It had been a few weeks since Levi and Eren had decided to move forward with their soul bond. From the outside, it would appear that very little had changed. They both continued to lead their squads through drills, they both split their time between training scouts and the mind numbing paper work required by the Capitol - but for those close to them, the change was obvious. Levi still hurled his insults at Hanji, and Eren still fought with Jean, but there was a new tenderness to both of them, particularly when it involved interactions between them.

 The afternoon sun was descending towards the distant hills, the last few rays bending and twisting over the horizon, staining the sky like fire. Eren and the others were in the quad, finishing their day with sparing matches. Connie and Armin had called it quits, chosing instead to sit to the side and discuss strategy. Mikasa was tending to a bruised Sasha after landing a mean right hook on the other girls jaw. The only two left fighting were Jean and Eren, and despite the bruises and cuts that covered both of their bodies, neither was ready to yield. Somewhere along the way they both lost their shirts, and the hot afternoon sun had left them covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Any finesse was gone, both too exhausted to be more than a tangle of haphazardly flung about limbs. Finally, Jean's stamina gave way and Eren seized the opportunity to kick his legs out from beneath him, ending the match.

After enjoying a moment to gloat, the brunette reached his arm out to help his opponent back up. Instead of standing however, Jean fell back to the ground, clutching his stomach. It took a few seconds for the shifter to realize his squad mate was laughing, loud and unashamedly. He stood there, dumbfounded, worried the horse had accidentally hit his head too hard. Armin scurried over, concern marring his expression. As soon as he took in the sight before him, his face morphed into one of amusement, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks to the tips of his ears. Now Eren feared that he was the one that had taken a few too many blows to the head - there was no reason he could see for them both to be laughing so hard.

Finally Mikasa joined the others, ready to lecture her own mate for his childishness, when she stopped dead in her tracks. Her face was expressionless, but her eyes - if looks could kill, someone would be dead. The raven turned on her heels and looked about the area, searching for something. All the while Eren remained at a loss for the scene before him. Just before he completely gave in and asked for an explanation, he caught of glimpse of dark colors out of the corner of his eye.  

**Nice view.**

The teen groaned in response, loud and unashamedly, as Levi's own arousal coursed through him. Since acknowledging their bond, the sensation of receiving words had become second nature,  and the brunette often didn't register it until he saw them himself, but the emotions he felt once he read them, well _those_ had gotten much stronger. Finally, he understood the situation around him. When he allowed himself to sheepishly glance back at Mikasa, her glare was directed upwards towards an open window of the old castle. It didn't take a genius to know just who's window it was. 

Seconds later he was walking away, face flushed from the heat and exercise and embarrassment, but a small smile was there as well. He wouldn't admit it to the others, but a part of him loved the attention. Levi still wasn't great at communicating, and he rarely gave Eren an indication that he wanted him, making those moments when he did all the more precious. If hitting on him from the other side of the castle was the way Levi needed to show affection, he was willing to take it.


	2. Baby it's cold outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is humanity's strongest soldier - admitting he is cold and would very much like to be warmed up by a certain shifter brat soulmate of his is out of the question.

**August 5th, 853**

After the last ambush and the fall out associated with the huge loss of life, Erwin and the others had determined another expedition would have to wait. For now, trips were limited to those that would take no more than a day and remained fairly close to the walls. The intention had been that they would use this time to properly train the youngest members and gather supplies and intel before heading out again. What had happened instead - at least if you asked Levi - was that everyone was getting soft. _Sure_ , they were putting in the same amount of training hours and _yes_ , the new scouts were certainly improving, but the group had recently decided that the extra free time should be spent together on social outings. Despite Erwin's insistence that it would build better camaraderie and Hanji's suggestion that humans are social creatures who need" X +- the standard deviation" number of intimate interactions each day, Levi refused to condone it.

Which is why he was all the more irritated to find himself sitting in front of a camp fire, the blonde commander beside him to his right, and Sasha and Connie to his left. Hanji and Moblit were next to Erwin, and he could see the brunette flailing about as she described some absurd theory to her mate who remained silent, looking back at her fondly. Mikasa and Jean weren't any better, curled up next to each other beneath a blanket in their own world. Even Armin and Eren had paired off, giggling like children as the two talked across the circle from him. At least they had the good sense not to be cuddled up against each other in front of Levi - childhood best friends or not, the idea of anyone curled up with Eren beside him left him in a quiet fury. 

A gust of wind ripped through the camp, and the smaller man shuddered as the chill crept through him. He looked around, realizing to his dismay that the three couples all had some sort of blanket or cloak thrown over themselves.  Erwin and Armin both wore large coats, prepared for the unseasonable cold spell they'd been in the past few days. Maybe he should have brought something warmer like Erwin suggested. Then again, he hadn't expected to be the only one in a soulbond without the warm body of their mate next to him.

Speaking of his mate, he was not only not wearing a coat, he was in nothing more than his usual long sleeve shirt. He tried to reach out to him, sense any discomfort, but he found none. It made sense - he was a shifter, which equated to being a living furnace. Now if only he would bring that heat over to Levi...

He shifted his attention back to the others, Sasha and Connie sharing sweet cakes, Hanji still going on as Moblit listened attentively. Even Mikasa, the group's reining Ice Queen, was allowing herself a moment of peace, an arm laced around Jean's side as the two shared an intimate conversation. From the blush on her face, it was clear it wasn't meant to be shared with the group, but they'd all grown into a sort of dysfunctional family - there were no secrets between them anymore.

Levi watched their lips move, the conversation flowing easily between them. It was obvious in this moment that they held only fondness and love for each other. He was torn - a part of him felt guilty for looking in on such a private moment out of respect, but another, louder part of him was irritated. How dare they flaunt their partnership to the world, especially in the company of those who didn't have the same luxury. He ripped his eyes away then, immediately ashamed. He wasn't irritated, he was _jealous_.

 _Jealous_ that they felt comfortable enough in their bond to be intimate. _Jealous_ at the ease in which they shared the same space. _Jealous_ that he was sitting with Erwin while Eren was with the coconut head. Eren was **his** soulmate - the brunette should be spending the evening next to him, sharing his warmth and his touch.

The raven did his best to keep his irritation to him self, but the longer he watched the other couples enjoying themselves, the more frustrated he became.  He wouldn't admit it, but this was probably his own fault - Levi hadn't really given Eren much indication that he wanted physical contact, especially in front of the others.  In fact, just a few days before they'd found themselves in a compromising position in what they _thought_ was an empty corridor, only to have Moblit turn the corner to find Levi pinned against the wall with the younger man pressed up against him.  They'd only been kissing, small chaste ones at that, but the moment had been intimate for Levi, and having someone else walk in on it and finding him in such a vulnerable state had caused a knee jerk reaction - literally. Before he knew what had happened, Eren was doubled over on the floor, clutching his manhood in pain. So yeah, the captain figured that if he had gotten kneed in the balls for kissing Eren, he probably wouldn't be too keen on getting intimate in public again either. But still, they were supposed to be connected now, and he couldn't help but wonder if the teen even realized that he wanted desperately to be sitting beside him in the blonde's place.

  _'Shitty warm shifter brat keeping Arlert warm when I'm over here and freezing my ass off.'_

"Levi, have you even heard a word I've said to you?" The question pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to the man beside him.  No, he really hadn't heard anything that Erwin had said to him, but he certainly wouldn't admit he was too busy pining over a certain oblivious green eyed brat.

"Fuck off Eyebrows, it isn't my fault that your voice lulls me to sleep. Maybe you should try talking to the titans, see if it subdues them too." He'd spat that words at his friend, venom dripping from each syllable. He'd wanted to piss him off, convince him to leave the raven alone. Instead he just stared back, a knowing smirk across his face. Without giving the blonde a chance to respond, he looked away again. When his eyes fell on Eren he paused - the brunette had his head tucked against his friends ear, whispering something between them. He couldn't be sure in this light, but it certainly looked like the other teen had a dark blush across his face. He was a second away from storming over and making a scene when Eren stood and started walking his way, the other blond sheepishly following behind him.

Armin was the first to speak, walking past Levi and addressing Erwin instead. "Commander, Eren and I were talking, and I was wondering something. You see, I have some ideas about the long range formation, and if you're willing, I thought we could discuss them."  Erwin smiled, a sparkle in his eyes - the man was a strategy genius, but Arlert had shown promise as well - he was clearly intrigued at the idea of the two of them working together. "Certainly Armin, what did you have in mind?" The blonde moved to sit beside the commander and quickly dove into the conversation, voice filled with excitement.  

 _'_ _You two certainly make quite the pair.'_

The captain had been so captivated by their interaction, he nearly flinched when he felt Eren sit beside him, draping a blanket over their laps. The brunette just flashed one of his annoyingly beautiful smiles his way before looking away again. They remained that way, sitting side by side under the blanket, both looking everywhere and anywhere accept directly at each other. It wasn't that they were uncomfortable together, they just hadn't quite figured out this new dynamic yet, especially in a group setting. Levi was glaring off into the trees, racking his brain for an appropriate conversation topic when he felt skin brush against his knuckles. The action was cautious, and it was clear the teen was baiting the older man for a response. The captain glanced around, fearful the others were watching, but it was apparent they weren't.  Realistically they wouldn't even be able to notice the slight movement beneath the large blanket over them. He wondered if that had been the teen's reason for bringing it over, or if he'd somehow let one of his thoughts slip to him earlier. He realized it didn't matter, not really - either way he was grateful for it and the man beside him.

Eren's right hand gently nudged Levi's left again, backs of fingers brushing against his own beneath the ratty wool, tentatively seeking permission to tangle their fingers together. It was such a small thing, holding hands, but it sent a rush of blood to Levi's face. In battle he was able to keep his body in check - heart rate controlled, mind clear.  In love however, he seemed to be failing at both, his heart beating wildly in his chest, mind glazed over with anticipation at the idea of them sharing this moment. It took all of his focus just to press his fingers back, running them up and down against his mate's, finally weaving them together. He could feel the blood rushing in his ears and was certain his face was covered in blush, but he refused to let his anxiety get the best of him.  He wanted to be with Eren, he wanted to share his warmth and be intimate, and yet he'd been the one standing in his own way. He wasn't ready for any obscene public displays of affection, but this was a good start.

"Hey, is this okay?" He lifted his gaze to find he teen was staring at him, a blush mirrored on his olive skin.  The raven's stomach tightened at the sight - he looked nervous, and even a little upset. Levi realized he had probably been scowling, lost in his thoughts and his own insecurities.  Knowing the teen, he'd taken it as a sign that he had done something wrong. Levi wanted to reach across and kiss the frown from off his face, but their surroundings kept him from doing so. Instead he gave a small squeeze to the hand in his, and let a smile flash across his face.

"Yeah, it's okay." It was so much more than just okay, but he wouldn't admit that out loud. Not yet anyway.

"Good. I thought after glaring daggers at Armin all night you'd be happy to have my company and my 'shitty shifter warmth'. I'm glad I was right." The smaller man's jaw slackened - so the brat had read Levi's thoughts on his arm.

"Tch, next time don't keep me waiting." The smile was gone, his thin lipped scowl back in its usual place. The brunette just laughed, eyes sparkling in the fire light as he squeezed his hand back.

"Deal."


	3. Evening Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi just wants to finish his damn paperwork - Eren just wants him to take a break. Fluff and awkward hormones ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Levi/Eren make outs.

**August 18th, 853**  

There's a soft knock at the door. Levi already knows who it is - he felt their presence before he even heard the sound - but his shared office with Erwin requires the formality. "Come in Eren." The teen enters, a small tray with a teapot and two cups placed on it in his hands. He looks tired, and a bit surprised - he'd expected to find Levi alone, but Erwin is perched at his own desk, reading over some report, writing neat notes in the margins.

"Hello Levi, Commander. I brought tea." He puts the tray down on the coffee table, filling a cup from the pot before handing it to Levi.

He lifts the cup to his lips, but pauses when he notices the color is lighter than usual and it smells like berries and lavender. "This isn't my normal brew?" Levi's skeptical - Eren's never switched his tea before.

"Uh no, it's one Hanji gave me. I thought it would be a nice change of pace, but I can go make your regular one instead." He's flustered, a dusting of blush creeping across his cheeks. Levi takes a sip, pleasantly surprised at the taste. "Tch, it'll do."

The shifter's nervousness lessens, and he turns to the commander next. Halfway through pouring the second cup, he catches the dark outline of Levi's thoughts scribbled across his arm. 

**Thank you, it's delicious.**

Eren does his best to hide his blush - Levi's been more open with his feelings lately, and he's still getting used to the affection. 

He really wants to take the other cup and join Levi at his desk like he usually does, but they aren't alone and he knows that PDA is still a sore spot for the Captain. He also knows it would be terribly inappropriate of him to keep the second cup for himself when his Commanding Officer is present, so he offers it to Erwin instead. The blonde smiles in appreciation, but declines with a simple "No thanks Eren."

He tries to hide that he's happy to be turned down - joining Levi for evening tea is something he looks forward to all day - but Erwin has always been observant. He places the cup back on the coffee table before turning to leave the office. "I'll be right back, they finally brought honey with the last supply run, so I'm going to go grab a jar before it gets distributed."

Levi can't help the small smile that crosses his face when his mate leaves. He doesn't know how to express how damn affected he is when Eren goes out of his way to do small things like this. It's more than just a cup of tea - it's a gesture that shows Levi he's thinking about him, that he cares for him. The smile lingers, deepening as he thinks about the brunette and their bond and everything that's happened the last few months. It makes him feel at ease, knowing he finally has someone for his own. All his thoughts come to a crashing halt however, when he notices the commander smirking out of the corner of his eye.

"Not a damn word Erwin."

The Commander doesn't say anything, just cocks an eyebrow and continues on with his work. It isn't until Eren returns a few minutes later that Erwin finally looks up again, leaning back and stretching his arms up over head. He lets a yawn escape before pushing himself up and out of the chair. "I didn't realize how late it had gotten. I'm going to call it a night Levi. Night Eren." He stops just beside the door to grab his cloak off the hook, turning to flash Levi one last shit eating grin before heading out for the night.

"Goodnight Commander." Eren gives a wave goodbye, too busy making his tea to catch the silent glare Levi is sending Erwin's way in response. When he's got just the right ratio of tea to honey, the brunette takes up his regular spot at the coffee table, waiting for Levi to join him. On most nights Levi puts up a meager resistance before giving in and joining him on the floor - Eren's made sure it's swept and there are cushions set down so he really can't complain much - but tonight is different.  He has a pile of reports to get through, and he has to write letters to the families of the two scouts they lost last week when a simple gathering mission went wrong.

Eren waits expectantly, growing irritable as his tea cools and he still finds himself alone. "Lee.... can't you take a short break? Just long enough to have another cup with me?" He rarely uses the pet name, but it had slipped out one day when they were stealing kisses behind the castle, and the Captain's response had been full of encouragement. Now he saves it for moments like this, when Levi is stubborn and he needs an edge to get his way. He can tell it's had the desired affect when Levi's hand stops writing and a dusting of pink creeps across his cheeks. "Damn brat. Just because Erwin decided to put off his responsibilities doesn't mean I am. I have to get through this shit tonight or there will just be more of it tomorrow."

Eren decides he needs a bit more encouragement, so he stands from his spot and walks towards the still seated captain. Levi's bent over his desk, eyes focused on the documents in front of him when Eren makes his way behind him, placing a hand on either shoulder. Levi stiffens instinctively, and Eren gives his mate time to adjust to the touch, waiting until he can feel him relax, feel his muscles releasing their tension. When his shoulders lower away from his ears and he places his head in his hands, Eren takes it as a sign to continue. He moves his hands strategically: each touch has a purpose, every movement in sync, working to remove the knots and the stress Levi carries. Eren's never told Levi that he's just as fond of these moments as his mate is. He loves that he's the only person that gets to see Captain Levi like this, vulnerable and undone, putty in his hands. When he's satisfied with his work, he moves to Levi's side, pushing his chair and the man in it away from the desk before holding out a hand towards him. "You're eyes are even squintier than usual Levi. Just take ten minutes to have some tea with me. It'll wake you up and then I'll leave you to it."

He's pretty sure Levi mumbles something about "shitty attractive soulmates" but he takes his hand and allows himself to be led to their spot on the floor. They don't say anything, just sit on the cushions side by side, drinking their tea and enjoying each others presence.  Maybe it's a soulmate thing, or maybe it's an Eren and Levi thing, but he's glad that they can skip finding the right words, saying everything they need to with gentle caresses and meaningful looks instead. At one point Levi let's his head fall onto Eren's shoulder. The teen isn't surprised - he'd told a white lie about the tea after all. Hanji had given it to him, but she'd given it to him to help him sleep, and the herbal blend isn't going to help Levi finish his work, it's going to help him pass out. He's been working himself non stop lately and Eren's decided that if his mate isn't going to practice good self care, then he's going to have to step in from time to time.  Levi might be angry when he comes too, but Eren's pretty sure he can kiss his way out of it.

When it's clear that Levi is out cold and won't get fighting to get any more work done that night, Eren tidys up his desk and blows out the candles in the room. Levi's small frame is barely visible in the moonlight that leaks in through the window, but a beam lands across his head, just in the right place to illuminate his face. He looks beautiful like that, Eren decides, and if he allows himself a few extra moments to stare at the man he's grown to love, then it's no one's business but his own. When he finally scoops the smaller man into his arms, he's surprised to find it's more difficult than he'd expected. Levi is small, but he's built like a God, and all that muscle adds up.

_'How is someone so small so damn heavy.'_

It's not as graceful of a walk to Levi's room as he'd hoped - he barely manages to kick the office door closed and he bumps Levi's feet against the stone walls at one point, but it's not a total disaster.  If he wasn't so focused on the task at hand, he might have noticed Levi's breathing had changed. If he'd paid better attention, he might have seen the small smile on Levi's lips. As it was, he misses the signs that his mate has been awake and thoroughly enjoying every minute of the journey back to his room. It's understandable then, that Eren nearly screams when two strong hands grab onto his shirt and pull him down into the bed he's just set Levi on. "Wait. Stay here tonight." The request isn't much more than a whisper, but he hears it all the same. They've made leaps and bounds in their relationship, but Levi's never asked him to spend the night in his room before, and Eren isn't clear about the extents of the invitation. They've been together for a couple months, and Levi's never been coy about his previous lovers - if he's finally asking him to stay the night, it must mean he's expecting to be intimate. He decides to stay on the mattress, but shifts until he's sitting on one side, facing away from his partner. It isn't that he doesn't want to stay, he definitely does, but he's nervous he'll do something embarrassing and Levi will realize just how inexperienced he is. Other teenagers had fooled around together, but Eren had decided to wait for his soulmate, thinking it would be better that way. Now, realizing he has zero experience in this department, he really wishes he'd taken someone up on the offer to hook up. He really wants to please Levi, but this isn't how he saw his first time happening, and he's not sure if he'll be able to go through with it.

Eren's thoughts are running rampant through his mind, stumbling one over the other, each fighting for his attention before being overshadowed by the next. _'How do we even do that... Do we switch or... How do we decide who does what... Does it hurt... Oh God I don't know if I can do that... But I want to... Levi is so attractive and experienced... how will I even make him feel good? O_ _h gods I'm going to look like such an idiot. But I love him and even though he hasn't said it yet, I think he loves me. We're soulmates, that's all that really matters right? I love him and I want him and he's invited me to stay so we can have sex. Sex... sex sounds messy, but also good? People wouldn't have sex if it wasn't enjoyable. Yes, I love him and he's my soulmate and sex is an enjoyable thing that people who love each other do. We should have sex.'_

Levi can sense the tension rolling off of Eren, but he doesn't know how to address it. He decides to give him a few minutes alone to mull it over, and slips off the opposite side of the bed. "I'm going to wash up. I'll be a few minutes. Don't run off." The captain closes the door to his adjoining bathroom behind him before slipping off his uniform and changing into his night clothes, a simple pair of tan linen pants.  He uses his ration of water to clean his face and his hair, leaving just enough to brush his teeth. He's halfway done scrubbing his bottom jaw when he turns just enough to catch a glimpse of words on his lower back in the mirror.

**We should have sex.**

He's sputtering, nearly choking to death on the toothbrush in his mouth, gripping onto the sink to steady himself as foreign emotions overwhelm him. Levi does his best to acknowledge them all as they happen: he feels excitement and nervousness and arousal - there's anxiety and there's joy - but more than anything else, louder than all the other emotions combined, constantly swirling and dancing through his mind, there's doubt. He hasn't had that many conflicting emotions pour through him in a decade and _holy shit_ he forgot how awful being a teen can be. When they finally subside enough for him to get his bearings, he allows himself to sink to the floor, taking a minute to sort through every feeling that lingers. _'Damn teenage hormones.'_

He tries to think back to his own teen years, but he doesn't remember having any concerns about sex. Maybe being raised in the underground desensitized him to it, but he never really had the existential crisis that Eren seems to be going through in the other room. Then again, he's never slept with someone he loved either, and the more he starts to think about that, the more his own nerves creep up. He banishes the thought - it must just be Erens lingering emotions because Levi is far from a blushing virgin and he does not get sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat just thinking about Eren beneath him... or on top of him... or bent over his desk...

He jumps to his feet, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He and Eren need to _talk_ before anything happens because if Eren's that filled with doubt, then they definitely shouldn't do this tonight, but he's got a feeling the brunette is going to try and jump him as soon as he gets in the bed. He throws on a shirt just to put one more barrier between himself and his mate before stomping back into the bedroom. He stops short of the bed, towering over it and the brunette. Eren's tangled in the sheets in nothing but his underwear and Levi's mind is instantly clouded with lust but someone has to be the adult in this situation, and it's going to have to be him. "Don't get any ideas brat, I'm asking you to sleep in bed with me, nothing more. I'm tired and you're a good body pillow."

He joins Eren in bed, slipping beneath the sheets next to him. The tension is still there, but it's lessened, and the smile on Eren's face puts him at ease. They're not going to have sex tonight, but that doesn't mean they can't share a few kisses before sleeping. Levi's tentative at first, barely brushing his lips against Eren's, but when the teen growls and pulls Levi on top of him, any pretense of innocence goes out the window. Levi cares deeply about Eren, and he's glad that his mate is so enthusiastic, but he's not a great kisser -  there's too much tongue and it's too wet and he moans too loudly. It takes a few minutes for them to get into a better rhythm, but as Eren's kissing technique improves Levi's resolve starts to crumble.  This brat is breaking him down, pulling him apart piece by piece with every gasp and moan and mewl because  _gods_ if he makes sounds as sinful as that when they're just kissing there is no way Levi is going to be able to survive long enough for them to have sex. He's doing his best to keep his restraint, but it's difficult because he wants Eren. He wants Eren, and what's worse, he knows he can have him. Levi's never had to turn down getting what he wants in the bedroom before, and it's testing his patience. But Eren isn't just a lay - he's his soulmate, and he can't let his other head do the thinking this time. Just when he thinks he's going to give in he realizes that Eren is trembling and even more wrecked than he is, and it gives him enough time to hit the brakes and stop things.  He pulls back and kisses his temple and his cheek before lying down beside him again.

"Get some sleep Eren. I'll still be here tomorrow." Maybe one day that won't be true - they're both on borrowed time at this point - but he can promise him tomorrow even if he can't promise the day after that. Levi's glad to know that Eren wants to take that next step, but he's not sure when they'll be ready. For the first time in his life it means something - it's not just a release, a partner for a night - Eren is his soulmate, his partner, and he's going to be there in the morning. He wants to make up for the childhood he lost and the family that was stolen from him. He deserves to have one normal human experience, and Levi wants to be the one to give it to him. So when it does happen, they'll take their time, and they'll make it special. He's going to show Eren how he feels with every kiss and bite because he may be a man of few words, but actions are his specialty.

"Goodnight Levi. I love you." It's not unusual for Eren to say it in moments like this, but every time it leaves Levi reeling. He still doesn't know how to belong to someone, how to accept their love, but each time he hears it, it makes it a bit easier. One day he'll say it back when he's sure he knows what it means and can deliver on the promise behind it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all for Eren being a sex God and them just immediately being sexually compatible, but I kinda think it's more realistic he'd be as oblivious and earnest about sex as he is about everything. Don't worry though, Levi is patient, they'll get there.
> 
> FYI: I have two more chapters after this outlined. After that I may put this one to rest but I'm struggling to let my boys go.


	4. Picnics are for lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren needs to go gathering: Levi needs to make sure he's safe.
> 
> Eren may have ulterior motives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I promised fluffy drabbles, but the angst crept in a bit on this one. I promise it's short lived though!

**September 2nd, 853**

There's something special about September. The way the heat of the summer lingers, but doesn't scorch. The leaves start to change; the animals start to gather.  It's a time of transition, a shift from one stage to the next.: a phase change. The summer weather had been chaotic- sudden storms and cold spells had plagued them - but September, well September had been perfect.

For some it's the last month of their favorite season, the last chance to soak up the sunshine and long days, the warm summer nights. Eren loves September: it reminds him of playing in the sun, of gathering supplies in the woods with Mikasa, of reading books in the shade of a tree with Armin.  For him it's the last rays of warmth before being cooped up inside for the winter. Eren's the product of a childhood spent outside, skin kissed by the sun. Eren is a child of the summer, and he loves September like he loves the end of his favorite book: the feeling of a gratifying culmination, the feeling that everything ended exactly like it should.

For others it's the first month of fall, a chance to pull out their most loved sweaters, to cozy up by a fire and welcome the chill it brings.  Levi loves September: it holds the promise of shorter days and longer nights, of snow that blankets the region in white, making everything look smooth and crisp and new and clean. Levi's the product of a childhood spent underground, of days hiding in the nooks and crannies of darkened alleys. Levi is a child of the winter, and he loves September like you love Christmas morning, waking up to know it's the start of something wonderful.

Eren and Levi were opposites in so many ways; where Eren was warm, Levi was cold - where Eren was soft, Levi was hard - where Eren was flexible, Levi was rigid - where Eren was open, Levi was shut tight. But in September they found themselves aligned; they found themselves whole.

* * *

Eren spent the better part of his morning searching for Hanji, finally finding her bent over a desk in her office, journals and reports littered over every inch of surface. There are books left open everywhere, beakers in various states of fullness shoved into the corner too.  She's nose deep in one of the books muttering something to herself, but he isn't able to make out the words other than "titan" and "reproduction." The brunette doesn't ask; he knows when to leave well enough alone.

He clears his throat loud enough to get her attention, hoping not to startle her. By the wild look on her face - pupils blown wide, arms thrown up ready to fight - he'd failed miserably.  "Uh hi Hanji! Sorry about barging in like this but I was hoping I could get some more of that night time tea blend? I've been going through it a lot faster now that I make it for Levi too." It's his day off, which means making time for all the things he puts off when his work consumes him.  They'd been out of the brew for almost a week, and without it Levi had gone back to working himself into an early grave.  It had helped that Eren hadn't returned to his own bed since the first night he shared Levi's with him, but his massages and the promise of a warm body next to him weren't always enough to convince the tiny Captain to come to bed at a reasonable hour.

She placed the book down gently, careful to mark her spot. "Oh Eren, I'm afraid I'm all out of that blend.  Since we've had to cut back on expeditions, I haven't been able to send out a crew. I think I could get everything a few hours ride away, but there just aren't enough hours in the day to study titans, improve my course, work on my experiments, _and_ go on gathering missions. The next shipment should be in a month, so hopefully we'll get some things then."

He was disappointed - having a cranky mate was difficult Eren, but having a cranky Levi was difficult for everyone. If the ingredients really could be found just a few hours away, then he might have time to get them if he left soon. "Hanji, why don't I go get them? I mean, it's my day off and I _am_ a titan shifter, if anyone is safe to go on a simple gathering mission it's me."

A mischievous smile crossed her face, and she set about writing a list of things. "Well I could _never_ ask you to do that, especially on your day off. But--" she turned then, handing him the list and her recommended gathering spots "--if you wanted to volunteer I can't stop you." A pat on the back and a wink followed as she gave him a gentle shove towards the door before turning back to her previous task.

It wasn't until hours later, when Hanji had finished reading through the book twice, that it occurred to her she had sent Eren out on a potentially dangerous mission. She had sent Eren, Humanities's Hope, out on a potentially dangerous mission. She had sent Eren, Levi-I'll kill you for looking at me wrong-Ackerman's soulmate, out on a potentially dangerous mission. Worst of all, she had sent him out _alone_. It was bad enough that it could result in Eren being hurt, but it would more immediately result in a very pissed off and very violent Captain Levi. She threw down the book and set out in search of Eren. If she was lucky, he'd be safe; if she was really fucking lucky, she'd be able to avoid Levi in process.

* * *

Eren's leading his favorite chestnut mare, Honey, away from the stables when he feels the other's presence overwhelm him, experiences the unnerving sixth sense that he's near. "Oi, brat, where are you off to? Isn't it your squad's day off?"

Levi must have spent the morning cleaning - his handkerchief is perfectly tied in place, a second one hanging limply around his neck. "I'm going on a gathering trip. I won't be long, I'm just going a few miles out towards the stream. Should be back by sundown." He tries his best to keep it casual, light; Eren knows this is an unsanctioned trip, and even if they're mates, Levi might not be pleased about it.

"And your squad agreed to give up their day off?" He cocks an eyebrow at him in question, crossing his arms in that disapproving way he does. There's doubt written across his face, and Eren realizes that maybe he should have thought about asking someone else to tag along after all.

"Uh no, I'm going by myself, it doesn't take two people to collect herbs Levi." Eren does his best to keep his tone light, easy; he doesn't want Levi to worry about him, it's a simple mission. After all, it's not a big deal, right?

Wrong. Very, very wrong.

"The hell you are!" Levi's voice has dropped an octave, and where it was suspicious before, now it's dark and menacing. He is very clearly _pissed._

"Levi?" Eren's not an idiot, he knows Levi respects the order's he's given and isn't going to give him special treatment, but to be so furious over going on an unsanctioned trip doesn't add up. There's something else here, and one look at Levi tells him everything he needs to know.

Levi's strong - the strongest - but even he can't control some things, like the way his pupils are blown wide in terror or the staccato rise and fall of his chest as his heart beats beyond his control. It's subtle, but the bond between them doesn't understand subtle - it puts everything out in the open, bare for the other to see. They don't have secrets between them, not any more.  "Have you lost your damn mind? Do you remember what happened last time you tried to go out on your own?" There's anger in his voice, but it's a sloppy facade, erected in a rush to hide his true feelings; the panic, the fear.

"Levi that was different; I had no other choice, I had to--" no one will know what Eren had to do, because Levi couldn't hold back anymore, couldn't stop the floodwaters of his emotions as they broke down the dam he'd built, flowing into the open.

"You nearly died-" he doesn't voice the rest of that truth, _can't_ because it's too fucking painful. It's bad enough the first half escaped him in that breathy whisper yell. He fights to throw the rest from his mind, but his thoughts betray him and before he can stop it the words appear on Eren's arm, mocking him with their insubordination.

_**I almost lost you.** _

And there it is, the single most encompassing fear in Levi's life, the only thing he thinks could really break him, end him.  Eren's always been important to him, but now that they're mates, now that they've been intimate, now that he's allowed himself to open up and meet Eren halfway, **now** he's the most important thing in the world to him. He's the only thing that's even been Levi's, the only thing he's ever been given to him over the course of the joke that is his life. Losing that bond, losing his soulmate, losing Eren - well, he doesn't think there'd be a reason to live after that. 

He's embarrassed - the kid was never supposed to know the enormity of the effect he has on him, was never supposed to realize that he is the single most precious thing in Levi's life. Only Levi fucked up, let his guard down, let himself be real. So now Eren _knows_. Levi turns away, searching for some place - any place - that he can skulk off to and hide his shame. He barely gets one foot in front of him before Eren's hand latches onto his shoulder, pulling him back until his back is pressed up along the length of Eren's abs, arms snaking around, holding him prisoner against the warm body behind him. "Hey, I'm sorry Levi, I wasn't thinking." His breath ghosts along Levi's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

His instincts are screaming at his to flip Eren onto the ground, beat the crap out of him, and walk away like none of this happened. They're telling him to fight and flee, because staying is dangerous: being vulnerable is dangerous. But there's a small part of him that wants stay in Eren's arms, to lean back into the warm body behind him, to give in to his desire to be comforted.  It's small, but surprisingly strong. Maybe it's a soulmate thing, or maybe he's just too far down this particular rabbit hole, either way he let's out the breath he'd been holding in and allows his head fall back onto the broad chest beneath it. His eyes close, and he let's himself have this moment, this short lived comfort. When he finds his voice it's level again. "Dammit brat just give me a few minutes to get Grey saddled. I wasn't doing anything important anyway."

Levi frees himself from the embrace and marches back towards the stables before Eren can form a coherent response. "You really want to go with me?" 

He's giving Levi that look, the one where his eyes are too big and he looks too much like a damn lovesick puppy, and Levi wants to punch him for making him feel so damn fuzzy inside almost as much as he wants to kiss him. "Tch, like I'd let you wander off on your own. You'd come back in pieces. Someone needs to protect you if things get dangerous."

Eren's joy doesn't waver, if anything he manages to look even more in love. "Alright, meet me back here in 20 minutes. I'm going to get a few things if you're joining me." Before Levi can question it he's running back towards the castle, Honey left forgotten and unattended in the courtyard. 

Levi grab's the reins and leaders her back to the stables where his own horse is waiting. The teen is almost out of ear shot, but Levi yells after him anyway. "Twenty minutes Eren, I don't have all day to waste waiting on you brat."

* * *

True to her words, Eren and Levi find themselves at the area Hanji had noted a few hours later, just as the noon sun peaks above. The horses are tied off below a tree, and they set to work making their way down towards the river and the plant life that surrounds it.  Eren's humming to himself quietly, pausing at each plant before deciding it's not what they're after and moving onto the next.  At one point he thinks he's found a good cluster of lemon grass tucked in behind the rows of reeds, so he crouches down to his hands and knees, clawing away at the stems blocking his path.  The tall grasses are thick and he's struggling to rip apart the fibers. The struggle lasts all of five minutes before he finally relents, grabbing for his blades instead and getting to work hacking away the offending plants. All the while Levi's remained silent, reclining against the trunk of a near by willow tree.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch me?" Eren's not really irritated, but this isn't as easy as he thought it was going to be, and Levi could have at least offered to assist him.

"I'm standing guard. B'sides, you're the expert. Keep at it brat, day isn't getting any longer." Anyone else would have thought Levi sounded bored, uninterested. But Eren wasn't anyone, and he could feel Levi's eyes on him, could sense the first spikes of his arousal. Levi was on the prowl, and Eren was his willing prey. 

"Really, 'cause to me it looks like you're staring at my ass." It didn't help the matter that the teen was still kneeling in the mud, hands and knees digging into the wet earth beneath him. He was gazing back at Levi over his shoulder, a coy smile featured prominently across his face. Despite acting innocent, Eren knew exactly what affect he was having on his mate.

Eren was tempting, but Levi was a man of strong will power. "If I happen to have a front row ticket to stare at your backside, then that's just coincidence."

"Well why don't you come over here and I'll give you a private show?" Eren was still learning the right things to say to get that blush he loved spread across Levi's cheeks, was still learning how to tease him just enough without blue balling him. 

"Tch, in the mud? No thank you. Seriously though, hurry up and get what you need, you're filthy, and not the fun kind." The smile fell from Eren's face and he threw his head back while letting a deep sigh escape. He hated when flirting didn't get him his way.  "Come on Leeviii, can you just help me look for blueberries? They should be down there just a bit, I think I saw some low bushes on the way down." Levi pushed off the tree and walked down the path wordlessly, leaving Eren to tackle the reeds alone.

Half an hour later and Eren had finally won his battle against the over sized weeds, a satchel of lemongrass clutched carefully in his arms. When he finds Levi, he's crouching in a bush with a handful of dark berries - too dark of berries. Eren smacks them out of his mate's hands before he can protest. "That's Nightshade! It looks just like blue berries, but it'll make you sick if you're lucky, or kill you if you aren't. Did you eat any? Are you feeling okay?" He's low key panicking, because if Levi did eat them then the poison's already in his system and they're too far to get any help out here.

"Hey, calm down, I was waiting to ask you what you thought first. So how can you tell?" There aren't many things in life that Eren is better at than Levi, but the teen knows his teas and if Hanji trusted him to get this stuff alone, then he must know his plants and herbs pretty well too.

The brunette lets out a shaky breath with relief. He moves to crouch beside the older man, pulling the plant towards them. "Well for starters, deadly nightshade are darker than blueberries. They also have flowers at the base of each berry that are white or purple and are star shaped. And the plant is mostly found as a creeper. There's other types of nightshade that are edible, but this one isn't." Levi can't help the fond smile that pulls at the corners of his thin lips. There's something about seeing Eren in his element that stirs those warm feelings again, makes him feel lighter. "All parts of that plant, especially the unripened berry, is poisonous Levi."

He places a hand on the teen's head, ruffling his hair the way he does when he feels fond, when he feels light. "Tch, not bad Jaeger. What else is on the list?"

"Chamomile and lavender, I already have the lemongrass." There's a lopsided grin on his face now too, and Levi's glad to know he isn't the only one that feels that fondness, that sickly sweet ache in the pit of his stomach for the man in front of him.  "Alright, tell me how to find one of them and let's get this over with. We don't have all day."

"Well it is my day off, so for once we actually do have all day..." Levi isn't sure when the air around them became so charged, and he's almost caught off guard when Eren pushes him back onto the ground and moves to straddle his waist. It isn't that he doesn't want to make out with his partner - he looks so handsome with his hair grown out, hanging around his face and framing it like a halo and it sparks a need, deep and low inside of him - but it's already early afternoon and they can't afford to be out after sundown. "Smart mouth brat--" he doesn't get a chance to finish the thought before Eren's lips find his and well, maybe just a few minutes won't hurt.

* * *

They manage to find the lavender, or "the shit that smells like dead old ladies" if you asked Levi, and the chamomile quickly. It's only an hour later when they're packed up and riding back to the compound. 

"I wish we'd found everything, but I think there are better berry patches by the castle anyway." They're letting the horses walk at a leisurely pace, making it easier to keep up a conversation. 

"So are you secretly a spicer in your free time then Jaeger?" Levi isn't one for small talk, but he wants to know everything about Eren, even the mundane things like how he knows the difference between poisonous berries and tasty ones.

"Nah, my dad used to send me and Mikasa out for supplies like this all the time, then he'd make all kinds of medicines with it." For a minute it doesn't feel like Eren's riding beside Levi, his eyes look far away and his mind is somewhere else, somewhere years before on a sun soaked hill before the wall came down, before Eren lost everything.

"Well I'm glad, when we get back I want you to make this into tea instead of Hanji. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, and she's pretty heavy." The jab brings Eren back to the present and he can't help the laughter that bubbles from him, can't suppress the snort that escapes. The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortable.  There's an ease they feel in eachother's presence that's unrivaled - this tea may help him sleep, but Eren is his real medicine. They're a half mile out when he notices Eren start to fidget, senses the restlessness of the man beside him.  There's something there: something unspoken, something unsettled. 

"Spit it out Jaeger." Levi pulls Grey to a stop, turning to the man beside him. Whatever he's struggling with, it's only getting worse as they get closer to home.

"Will you... I mean is it okay if..." Eren can't find the words - they stumble out of his mouth uncoordinated, too jumbled, too quiet, too unsure.

"Speak up Eren." Levi's a level headed guy, but seeing Eren like this makes him uneasy, and he has to fight the urge to reach out and pull the other man close.

It takes Eren a few minutes before he can form the request, but when he does, it isn't what Levi had expected.  "I'd like to stay out a bit longer. I brought things, and I thought maybe we could stay out here and have a late lunch." He's blushing, crimson staining his sun kissed skin. He looks beautiful like that, and Levi decides making Eren blush is his new favorite hobby.

"So you tricked me into going on a picnic?" He doesn't mean to make fun, but it's such an odd request.  Normal people went on picnics. Normal people spent their days off lounging in the sun with their lover. But there was nothing normal about Eren and Levi.

Levi realizes his jest was a mistake when Eren's blush turns from mild embarrassment to mortification. "No! I wasn't planning it or anything, but then when you got mad earlier it reminded me of what happened during the last expedition. And then I remembered that was when we realized our connection, our soul bond. And well, it's been two months since we first, you know, talked and decided to do _this_ or whatever..."

Levi can't help but stare at him in disbelief as the words register in his mind. He's managed to keep his jaw from falling open, but his eyebrows are pulled up and he isn't even trying to hide his surprise.

"Nevermind, it was a stupid idea, let's just go." Eren gives a click of his tongue and a kick to his heals, and Honey starts moving forward again, this time at a trot. 

Levi and Grey catch up quickly, but the teen doesn't slow his pace. "Eren wait - you planned this didn't you?"

They're riding side by side but the words fly out of Eren's mouth too fast, and Levi nearly misses them. "I mean, Hanji really did need the herbs, and once I knew you wouldn't let me go without you and I realized it was our anniversary..."

Levi slows Grey to a walk, and Eren stops to match the new pace. He's still embarrassed, but he knows Levi isn't going to let him run away from this. "So that's what you ran off to do when I got ready.  Eren, most people don't celebrate a two month anniversary." He's trying not to be a dick about it, because in a way it's sweet, but Levi doesn't want Eren to think they're going to be able to run off and have a romantic day together every month.  He doesn't want to set the expectation only to disappoint him every time it isn't met.

"Yeah well most people aren't one wrong step away from death. I know I'm not going to live a long life Levi, hell, I'll most likely die before you--" Eren stops short when he realizes his mistake. He can feel the hurt, the anger pouring off the man who's come to a stop beside him. Levi had already panicked at the though of losing Eren once today, to bring it up again was pouring salt into a very fresh wound.

 _**Don't say that!** _ The words on his arm burn, and they say everything his mate isn't. He's seething silently, and Eren thinks it's worse than any insult he could be yelling at him instead. He jumps off his horse and walks back to Levi's side, leaning against Grey and taking the older man's hand in his own. "Look I don't want to waste any part of my life I have left without you by my side Lee. So yeah, I want to celebrate our two month anniversary, because there's a damn good chance we won't have many to celebrate before one of us is dead. I just want to cherish the time we do have together, even if it's only been two months. I love you Levi. I'm sorry I said that, it--"  he stops the thought short when he feels his mate jump down and land beside him. One hand is gripping his shoulder tightly, the other resting on his hip. Levi's eyes are dark, hungry. Eren isn't sure how he can be furious and overjoyed, but he can sense both emotions fighting for power over Levi, can feel the turbulence bubbling just below the surface.

"Shut up Eren." It's a command, a direction. When Levi kisses him it's hard - too hard. Every point of contact is going to bruise, but if this is what Levi needs to convince himself Eren is there, that Eren is real, that Eren is safe, then he's willing to accept it. Things are better once Levi relaxes into his touch, and he thinks that maybe they're going to have a nice anniversary after all.

Eren's the first to speak - Levi is still too conflicted, too uneasy.  "I have a blanket, and some cheese and bread and a few cuts of ham, and Erwin gave me a bottle of mead. I thought we could sit out here and eat together and just enjoy it, you know, pretend that we're two normal people in love for once. Two soulmates spending the afternoon together." It's a nice thought, and even though it's a lie, Eren thinks maybe a white lie every once in a while isn't so bad.

Levi seems to agree.

"Okay, let's pretend then."

* * *

 Hanji is riding out in the direction she sent Eren when she see's two horses tied off to a tree in the distance and changes course.  The sun is starting to dip beyond the horizon, painting the sky in red streaks. There's an hour or two of daylight left, and Eren and Levi are napping off their shared meal, propped against the trunk of tree, resting under the shade. Levi's a light sleeper, and when the ground beneath him shifts and the shadows on the back of his eyelids darken, he throws himself awake, ready for a fight. He expects to see an animal, or maybe even a titan; he does not expect to see Hanji crouching beside him, face inches from his. 

"What the bloody hell Shitty Glasses!" He tries not to yell, really fucking tries because Eren has managed to remain asleep and blissfully unaware that they are being studied by a crazy person, but there are few sights more terrifying than a mad scientist staring at you like their next experiment.

"Oh I couldn't help myself, you two are just so precious when you sleep!" There's a smile plastered across her face and a glint in her eyes, and there's that fondness again, only now it's in Hanji too. Shit must be contagious.

"Tch, as if you weren't already a creep. Will you kindly fuck off, the brat's still asleep. We'll bring the stuff by when we get in." Hanji lifts a hand to grasp at her heart in mock offense. Hanji may get on his nerves, but if he's honest, he cares deeply about her, and he knows she cares deeply about him in return. It's dangerous, getting attached that way, but he can't help it. These feelings, he thinks, are going to be the death of him if the titans don't get him first. "You know despite being such a little meanie, it's still nice to see you happy. I never thought I'd see the day Levi."

There's no bite to his words, but he tries to keep up his tough act anyway. "I'm always happy, I'm a god damn ray of fucking sunshine." And if he smiles to himself at that because yeah, now he really kind of is, then no one else needs to know.

Hanji stands to leave the pair in peace. She was relieved to see that Eren was safe, and even more so to see that Levi had been more thoughtful than her and joined him. They really are too precious, and she can't stop herself from looking back just once. She has to fight back the tears that form in her eyes when she finds Levi staring down at the man asleep in his lap, a small smile across his face. 

"You really love him, don't you?" The words escape before she can even register them, and she expects Levi to hurdle an insult or tell her to fuck off. Instead he just sighs, low and deep. His voice is gravely with emotion, raw and honest and vulnerable in a way he's never been before. "Yeah dammit, I really do."

She isn't sure if he's telling her or himself, but it feels like a confession. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post - I'm not getting home from work until 730 or 8 lately, and then I have to eat and maintain a health relationship with my S.O., so writing time is non existent.
> 
> Also, just THANK ALL OF YOU FOR BEING AWESOME! The SNK fandom in general, and my Ereri mutuals specifically, you guys are great. It's a very strange time for me personally right now, and as I branch out to newer fandoms I realize the types of people in them have changed and I am just so thankful to have this fandom and the people in it.


	5. I love you shitty brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi makes dinner for Eren. Things get romantic AF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the rating -there is sexual content in this. If you'd like to skip it, you can jump between the double horizontal lines.

**September 17th, 853**

Cooking may be one of Levi's lesser known talents, but anyone lucky enough to have a meal he's prepared would sing its praises. Levi doesn't do anything halfway, and he puts as much dedication and passion into his meals as he does his training. It takes a special occasion for him to put those skills to use - like the time he made a cake to celebrate Hanji and Moblit's union ceremony, or when he made a week's worth of casseroles and had them sent to Erwin each night after his mate died. Tonight is no exception - he's cooking this meal for what he hopes will one day be looked back on as a special occasion. The thing is, Levi finally admitted to himself (and Hanji, inadvertently) that he loves Eren. He finally admitted _out loud_ that he is in love with Eren, his soulmate. And maybe it's just because he's stubborn, but as much as he wanted a soulmate, he hated the idea that it was instant and he had no say in how he felt. Maybe that's why he had fought those feelings for so long, how he'd suppressed a connection between them in a way that's scientifically impossible. If anyone could find a way to tell the soulmate gods to fuck off, it was Levi. But now that's he's accepted his feelings, now that he's decided for himself that he is very much in love with the brunette man, now that he knows that man is very much in love with him, well _now_ he thinks he might be ready to give in to his more primal desires.  There's only one thing still between them, one thing that the bond keeps pulling them towards, one thing left to do before they have a complete connection, before they're truly whole.   

The thing is, they've only been together for a few months, but they've felt the pull for the past six, and Levi is pretty sure he was in love with the brat before any mystic connection got involved anyway.  He's never waited more than a few weeks from meeting someone he wanted to fuck and following through with the act, let alone months, so he's got no clue what the right pacing is for this.  And don't even get him started on the months of fighting his romantic feelings - the months of _pining_ after the kid - even though the only thing standing in his way was his own fears and insecurities. So here he is, 33 years old, and for the first time in his life, he's experiencing the internal struggle to balance his sexual desire and his craving for romantic intimacy. He's pretty sure Eren also wants more now, especially since he hasn't slept in his own bed since the first night they spent together, and their make-out sessions always leave them both hard and wanting more.  He's gotten better at kissing - determined to find every spot that drives Levi mad, to discover every place he's sensitive and assaulting it - which only adds fuel to the already raging fire Levi feels burn inside him when they're together. In fact, he's certain Eren also wants more because every time they find themselves alone they end up attacking each other with kisses and bites, rutting against each other like sex-starved teens (which to be fair, Eren _is_ ). But Levi is always the one to pull away and keep them from crossing that last boundary, breaking down that last wall. It isn't that Levi doesn't want him, he wants to fucking devour him, but he loves this man, this insufferable brat, and that is still foreign territory. Levi has had a lot of sex, but he's never made love. Just thinking the words makes him cringe and want to punch things. 

And that’s why he’s in the kitchen, preparing his favorite stew - the one his mother made on Christmas once a year when she was able to hunt down meat - to share with Eren tonight. That’s why he searched for the least damaged plates, why he washed the linens himself to make sure they were properly cleaned. It’s why there’s a bottle of wine he bought in town sitting on the table, two glasses waiting patiently beside it. Levi’s never made love to someone, but he knows how to show his love through food and he knows how to fuck like a pro, so he hopes doing those two things back to back is close enough.

Just as he's finishing up the last few touches, there's a quiet gasp and the wave of emotions pour over him. He feels drunk on the love and adoration and joy pouring off his mate, and he nearly burns the dish he'd spent hours preparing.

"Levi, why did you... how did you... is this all for me?" Eren’s bright green eyes are wide and shining, sweeping back and forth over the scene in front of him.

"Sit. It's almost done. Obviously, it's for both of us." Levi tries to hide his giddy excitement, tries to play it cool even though the look Eren is giving him makes his heart race and his stomach flutter and his breath hitch. He lets his resting bitch face take over to hide the small smile, to mask the fondness creeping into his features.

When the meal is finally ready Levi scoops it onto the plates and sets one in front of each of them. He grabs the bottle of wine, uncorks it, and starts to fill the two glasses to the brim.  He isn’t trying to get Eren drunk, but he needs the liquid courage himself if he’s going to pull this off. He’s been preparing this speech all day, playing it over and over in his mind, saying the words silently to feel how they roll off his tongue. It’s not the most eloquent declaration of love, but it’s honest and it’s unfiltered and very much Levi, and he knows that’s what Eren wants to hear most.

When he finally moves to place the glass in front of his mate and say the words he’s been fretting over all day, he catches sight of Eren, plate nearly empty, shoveling food into his mouth like a rabid bear.  

The stew is good - incredibly good. It might even be the best thing Eren’s ever eaten. He doesn't even remember the last time he had meat - real chunks of meat, not just thin cuts - and it's rich and salty and he can't help himself from stuffing spoonful after spoonful into his mouth. He's so intent on the flavors dancing in his mouth and finding a way to get more of it or make it last longer, that he doesn't even realize he's made a mess of his face and the table. What finally does bring him out of his frenzy is the pulsing on his arm, and the frustration and disappointment tied to the words he finds there.

**Feral Beast**

He’s embarrassed that he’s nearly finished his portion when Levi clearly hasn’t had a bite of his own. The older man is sitting across from him, a frown set deep across his face, two full wine glasses still clasped in his hands. It's an unnerving sensation, experiencing directly and indirectly negative emotions that are aimed at yourself. Between his own shame and the dismay coming from Levi, he wants nothing more than to crawl into a hole and hide. He sets the spoon down gently, grabbing at the napkin discarded to his side, lifting it to wipe his face clean and hide his frown. They’ve never had an awkward tension like this between them, and Eren doesn’t know how to diffuse it. What he does know, is that Levi just made him an amazing meal, just doted on him for no reason at all, and all he wants to do is praise the man in return. He flashes Levi his biggest grin and tilts his head to look up through those sinfully long eyelashes, leveraging his charm to his advantage.

"Lee, that was the best thing I've ever eaten. And knowing how hard you must have worked on it, how much you must have spent to get the ingredients, and the fact you did it all just for us to share it together... I'm just so lucky. What did I ever do to deserve you as my soulmate?" He can feel the irritation still, but it’s lessened, and there’s an overwhelming sense of relief flooding into him. When he reaches out for one of the wine glasses Levi hands it to him without a second thought before taking a large drink of his own.

Levi isn’t happy his plan was thwarted, is still a bit pissed that Eren just mauled the meal he made and ruined the romantic setting he’d tried to create, but he can’t keep himself from preening at the compliment, can’t contain the joy he feels at his soulmate’s approval. Because there it is again, that damn fondness, that damn syrupy sweet feeling that pours over him, drowns him when he looks into those sparkling eyes. "Tch, you're still a beast. I'm glad you liked it though, it's an old recipe, one of my favorites."

Eren doesn’t miss a beat, just takes another drink before placing his face in his hands and leaning across the table, batting those lashes and giving Levi his best bedroom eyes. "Well, now it's one of mine."

Levi finishes his portion in silence, never getting up the courage to attempt his confession a second time.

* * *

Eren’s just finished cleaning up the last evidence of their meal, placing the dishes back in their cupboards, when he senses a pair of eyes on his backside and suddenly realizes what this was all about. "Levi, can I come up to bed with you?"

The request feels oddly formal - he hasn’t asked Levi to stay over once since the first time, they’d both assumed it was just the new arrangement and never felt the need to voice it. "Why are you asking, you haven't slept in your own bed in a month. Besides, it's pretty early still."

Eren looks shy and unsure, but there’s that determined glint in his eye, the one he has before he’s about to try something new. "I wasn't planning on going to bed right away."

If the suggestive tone wasn’t enough, the teen’s arousal hits Levi like a ton of bricks and he’s suddenly very certain of Eren’s intentions. "Oh."

"You did so much for me tonight, let me show you how much I appreciate it." Eren turns and leads the way down the hall, moving rhythmically, a cross between a skip and dance. Levi isn't sure why, but they both realize they want to be the first to get there, and an impromptu race begins. Levi Ackerman does not fucking skip. He might, however, have sped up to a light jog to keep up.

He's barely got the door shut and locked when Eren is on him, pressing every inch of his back against the wooden planking. He's struggling to make contact in as many places as possible because despite his best efforts he can't get quite close enough to satisfy that need that's burning deep and hot inside him. Eren's everywhere and nowhere at once, leaving a trail of wet open mouth kisses along his neck. Every few seconds he lets his teeth graze along the skin, not enough to cause pain, just enough to suggest his dominance in that moment. Levi isn't sure where the hell the brat learned to do this because a month ago he was still a blushing virgin, but Eren's always been a fast learner. Maybe too fast.

"Eren, slow down, we don't have to _ahhhh shit_ " Levi is far from inexperienced, but no one has ever had the balls to take over with him the way Eren is right now, and when the shifter bites down on the skin between his neck and his shoulder, it unearths a breathy whine Levi is too embarrassed to own up to. "I'm not a kid Lee, I'm an adult and your soul mate and I want this with you."

His hands have found their way up under the casual shirt he wore to dinner, leaving light scratches up and down along his abs and his back. Every place those fingers make contact with his skin burns, leaving trails of fire in their wake. When they pull away he whimpers at the loss despite his best efforts to control himself. They aren't gone for long, quickly gripping the edges of his shirt and ripping it up and over his head in one quick motion before returning to the assault on his neck.

"Come on babe, let me show you how much I want you. Let me make you feel good." Eren's kissing down his chest, lingering over his abs, sinking lower with every lick and caress. Levi's too blissed out, too turned on to stop him, but when his hands dip into the waistband of his pants he knows he has to act fast before he completely loses his ability to speak.

"Dammit, Eren sit your ass down before I knock you flat on it." The command comes out stronger than he'd expected, and he silently celebrates his ability to have some semblance of control when it comes to his desire for his mate. But the teen doesn't relent, doesn't head the warning. He's crouching in front of Levi, fingers dipping into his pants, balancing on the balls of his feet just inches off the floor. Levi gives him one last look of warning but instead of stopping Eren palms at the erection formed beneath Levi's pants - it doesn't take much more than a swift shove in response to send the brunette backward, stumbling until he's sitting flat on his butt, legs flung out in front of him. He looks like a kicked puppy, but Levi knows it's the right call. "Levi what the-"

"I told you to sit your ass down." He takes a few moments to collect his breath, to clear the fog of lust from his mind. When he feels like he's back in control, he reaches a hand out to help Eren off the floor.

"Now, don't get me wrong, that was great, really fucking great, but you're getting ahead of yourself and honestly, if I didn't stop you then I don't know if I would have been able to. Fuck I know I'm Humanity's Strongest, but I'm still just a man Eren." He takes it reluctantly, still frustrated that his plan was derailed.  Levi walks them to the bed and sits down, turning to face Eren. Levi's never been great with words, even worse with feelings, but saying the right words to convey those feelings? That was by far the greatest challenge he'd ever faced.

"Look, I don't want you to feel obligated. I know the universe decided we were supposed to be together, but I want you to know that I don't take this for granted. I want you to know that I chose you, that I am choosing you every single day. And I hope that you continue to choose me day after day as well. But if there's ever a point that you think I'm not the person you want, you need to tell me. I don't expect anything to be given to me Eren, and I want to work to earn you and your love." He’s said the entire confession to the floor, unable to meet Eren’s gaze. When he finally looks up, he’s met with those bewitching green orbs, glistening with tears on the precipice of falling.

Understanding dawns on Eren as Levi speaks, and while the lust isn't gone, it's buried under the thick blanket of love and joy he feels knowing that Levi wants him, _really_ wants him, and not just whoever was fated to him. “I chose you too Levi, every day I'll work to be the partner you deserve and I know you'll do the same.”

“And you promise you'll be honest with me if that changes? Or if I do something you don't like? You have to promise to be upfront with me, just like you don't hold back on the battlefield you can't hold back on me in this either. I can take it - it might hurt, but I always want you to tell me the truth.” Levi needs to know they’re in this together, equal partners on steady footing. He loves Eren, he respects Eren, he fucking cherishes Eren, but he can’t give himself fully to someone who isn’t ready to give himself fully back.

“Well there is one thing…” Eren shuffles anxiously in his spot on the bed. Levi can’t help but remember the first time they’d sat on this bed together, Eren silently panicking about the expectation of sex with Levi. The older man is so thankful they hadn’t gone through with it that night: they’ve come a long way together, and now he’s certain his heart is aligned with desires, now he’s certain this isn’t a mistake. Despite the teen's bravado earlier, he’s still the least experienced of the two, and even if he’s ready for this and they’re both sure the timing is right, he’s going to have some residual nerves.

“What if… I mean, sometimes you feel so good and it's overwhelming and I feel myself losing control. And what if that happened, what if I was too far gone and you bit me and I uh, you know…” His hands are clasped, fingers wringing together over and over, back and forth in a constant pattern, dissipating his nerves through physical movement. He finally turns to meet his soulmate’s gaze, green eyes boring into steel gray. “What if I shifted while we were having sex?”

 _‘Well shit.’_ Levi certainly hadn’t expected that. Sure, the thought had crossed his mind, but Eren had been more or less in complete control of his Titan form for years. Then again, this was something new, something entirely different, and the stimulation paired with any sort of physical pain - even a love bite - could be enough to send him over the edge.  Levi wasn’t sure what to do - he didn't want to spook Eren, but he didn’t feel capable of assuaging his fears either. Hell, it wasn’t every day that shifters had soulmates and sex lives. And even if there was a precedence, there wasn’t anyone who would know anything about it.

Except maybe there was…

“Wait here, I’ll be back. Don’t do anything stupid.” Eren didn’t have any time to protest before Levi had pushed off the bed, thrown his cloak on over his bare chest and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

 

Ten minutes and an anxious jog later, Levi finds himself outside Hanji and Moblit’s quarters. He pounds on the door with three swift knocks, but there’s no response. "Hanji dammit I know you're not sleeping, I need you to get your ass out here right now."

There’s a quiet shuffling on the other side of the door, and when Hanji finally moves to open it Levi can see piles of books and paperwork lining the two desks in their room, Moblit seated dutifully at one of them. "Levi what in the name of the sisters has you so riled up? We were in the middle of a very important-"

"We both know you've been studying Titans and shifters and I know you must have considered their reproductive traits..." The words are half shouted half mumbled, stumbling out of his mouth too fast but not fast enough to keep the blush from rising up his cheeks.

Everyone knows Hanji is brilliant - even Levi will reluctantly admit it - and she catches onto his deeper meaning instantly.  There’s that cheshire cat grin spreading across her face, and he can see the wheels turning in her mind, already knows he’s in trouble before she speaks. "Are you asking me if you can have sex with your foxy little mate without him shifting during it?" If her phrasing isn’t enough to shame him, her subtle wink and not so subtle rib jab do the job just fine.

"Dammit Shitty Glasses if you tell ANYONE-" Levi spent the entire week planning this night, spent the entire day cooking, and just left his very aroused mate half naked in his room - the last thing he needs is Hanji giving him shit for being worried about the one thing that might keep them from consummating their relationship tonight. 

"Calm down pipsqueak. There's always a chance Eren could shift, but he's been in control for years now, and he knows that shifting during THAT would be very dangerous for his beloved soulmate, so I think it's a safe bet that won't happen. Besides, there’s a fail safe: just don’t bite him too hard." Levi wants to slap the grin off her face, wants to cover her mouth to muffle the cackle leaving it. But he’s got his answer and Eren is waiting, and that is infinitely more important than his own embarrassment.

"Okay good. And Hanji - this never happened." He gives her his best death glare before turning and marching down the hall. Levi is Humanity’s Strongest, and he does not handle jokes at his expense well. He barely lets Eren get away with them, and that’s his soulmate. Hanji may be his best friend, but he doesn’t want to give her any more material to work with than necessary. Unfortunately, Levi is also not a very lucky man, and a breeze comes in just as he passes one of the open windows, pulling his cloak up with it. He does his best to grasp it and pull it tight around himself once more, but he knows it’s too late - Hanji’s already seen his half naked form.

Levi can hear the gasp and the breathless laughing behind him, but he walks on as fast as his legs will carry him without giving it any attention. Hanji yells after him, gasping the words out between fits of giggles. “Oh my stars... were you two in the _middle of doing it_ when-” Levi turns the corner as fast as he can, leaving Hanji and her questions behind him.

* * *

 He stops himself just outside his door, taking a moment to calm his breathing, to settle his heart. He knows that Eren is waiting on the other side of that door - knows that Eren is waiting to finally break down the last barrier between them. It's just a few planks of wood to anyone else, but to Levi it's the last barrier he'd built to protect himself from letting someone get too close, to protect himself from giving in completely, to protect himself from falling in love.

Levi swore after he lost his mother he would do whatever he had to in order to never feel that way again, and he built a wall around his heart, closed off the world and decided love wasn’t something he wanted to feel again. But then Isabel and Farlan came along and broke down that wall, made him feel loved, gave him hope. When they died, Levi built two walls, one for his mother and one for his friends, and he swore he'd never feel that way again. He swore this time would be different - this time he’d be stronger, he’d find a way to make being alone work. But then Petra and the others stormed into his life, weaseled their way between the cracks and chiseled at the bricks. When they finally got to him, made him trust them, made him see they trusted him, it was something like love. So when he lost them, found their bodies littered across the forest floor, he built three walls, locked his heart in a steel cage and threw away the damn key. He swore to himself he’d never let all those barriers get torn down again, swore to himself he wouldn’t ever feel anything like love again because it's never been worth the pain of loss.

But now those walls are gone, broken and cracked, left as nothing more than rubble. All that's left is that cage, and in this moment he's standing in front of the wooden door, head resting against it, hands scratching against the grains, feeling the last barrier crumble because Eren is on the other side, and Eren has the key. There is no going back once he opens the door, once he unlocks the cage. If something happens, he won't be able to rebuild those walls, won't be able to protect himself again. He'll be ruined, left bare and vulnerable, devastated. But even so, even knowing this is going to be the end of him, he still wants to go through with it because on the other side is Eren, and he's the only person worth the risk.

Levi isn't prepared for the site before him - Eren is naked in their bed (their bed, not his bed anymore) a blanket resting over his lap, his tan chest bare and shining in the moonlight. The only thing he has on is his key necklace. The breath he was holding is knocked from him at the sight. It isn't just that Eren's sexy, although he most certainly is, it's the mixture of the love he feels for this man, this brave man, who has his back on the battlefield and who knows him better than anyone else. This man who loves him and protects him and wants nothing more than to make him happy. He thinks back to Eren's words earlier that night and he can't help but shake his head in awe - Eren was wrong: he is the one who's lucky. 

* * *

* * *

They don’t say anything when Levi closes the door behind him, shedding his cloak and walking towards the man on the bed. There aren’t any words spoken, only knowing looks and soft smiles. Levi crawls across the bed until he’s straddling Eren’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck, fingers scratching lightly at the back of his hair, tangling themselves in the long locks, memorizing the sensation. Their kisses are soft, timid, but it doesn’t take long for them to get heated, for the gentleness to give way to lust.

Levi's never taken things slowly before, never experienced the gentle kisses or loving caresses they’re sharing now. The older man has had a lot of partners over the years, and somewhere along the way sex became an itch you scratched, a means to an end. It isn't that he didn't give a shit about his partners, but he's always been his own first priority, has always cared more about getting off than making the other person feel good too. He’s never felt this way before, and all he can think about is Eren and making him feel good, showing him how much he loves and appreciates him - with Eren he suddenly cares more about his experience, wants to take his time and explore every inch of his skin, make it last, make him feel loved.

Levi can tell Eren’s getting restless, can sense his desire and lust taking over, making his head spin and his breathing shallow. He lets himself slide down the headboard until he’s laying down properly, arms still wrapped around the man above him.  Eren’s eager, but he’s still inexperienced. He’s running on instinct, moving his hips seeking friction, rutting against anything to give him some relief from the coil tightening inside him. Levi on the other hand, well Levi’s done most things at one point or another. Levi is used to being the one in control, the one calling the shots, the one setting the pace. Levi isn’t a submissive guy, and he’s definitely going to have to take the reins, but he wants to let Eren sit back and enjoy every kiss, every bite, every sensation. He isn't a submissive guy - but when he respects someone, when he loves someone - then maybe some exceptions can be made.

He kisses his way down his mate’s torso, peppering it with love bites, leaving marks that will fade too quickly. He isn’t usually on the giving end of things, but he’s received enough times to know what feels good, and if the mewls and moans, the gasps and grunts coming from Eren are any indication, then he’s doing a decent job. When Eren shifts onto his forearms and looks down at him, those ocean eyes glazed over with lust bore straight into his heart and he has to get away, has to put some barrier between them because it should be illegal for someone to express that much emotion just by staring at you. Levi reaches for the blanket discarded to the side of the bed and throws it over himself, shielding himself and Eren’s lower half from his penetrating gaze.  It’s easier this way - he can still hear the shifters muffled sounds, every indication big or small that he’s driving him crazy with every flick of his tongue, every clench of his fist.

He’s not surprised when two hands find their way beneath the blanket, tangling in his hair and pulling his face back upwards to be met with feverish kisses. It’s subtle, but he can sense the teen’s hesitation as he moves his legs open, wrapping them around his torso. Eren’s eager, but he’s inexperienced, and Levi wants him to feel nothing but pleasure this time around. He places his hands on either tan knee, pushing them back down on the bed. Eren struggles briefly, unsure of his mate’s actions, but Levi just guides him back down gently, holds him in place against the bed before moving to straddle his lap once again, ducking his head back down to leave a trail of kisses along his jaw, to whisper in his ear. “Trust me Eren, I’m going to make you feel good.”

Levi has sex, he doesn’t make love, but this is Eren: his comrade, his partner, his best friend, his soulmate. He doesn’t make love, but for the first time in his life this isn’t just sex and he can’t come up with any better way to describe it. He doesn’t make love, but it feels like love because Eren is his equal, Eren is someone he wants to hold onto the next day and the next day and the next. With Eren, Levi can’t keep himself from leaving gentle caresses in response to his whispered declarations of love. Levi can’t help the tears that form in his eyes because Eren is his and he finally has something like a home, finally feels whole. Levi can’t help the joy he feels in his heart knowing Eren feels the same. Levi can’t help the string of Eren’s name as it floats off his tongue, repeating it like a mantra as they both find release. Levi has sex, but tonight he made love, and he thinks it’s something he could get used to. 

* * *

* * *

 When their breathing evens out, when they’ve floated back down to the present, Levi is suddenly aware of the arm draped over him, of the firm chest pressed up against his back.  Eren’s leaving kisses on the back of his head, on his neck, behind his ear. He finally lets his head rest on top of Levis, nuzzling into his undercut, his cheek. Eren’s mark is dark and proud, in stark contrast from the tan skin illuminated by the moonlight bathing the room.

Levi still hasn’t said it out loud, hasn’t formed the words verbally, but Eren knows he feels it now. Levi won’t ever be one to say it frivolously. He won’t be one to throw it out there unless he means it - unless he feels it merits being said. Levi won’t ever be the one to declare his love excessively, and Eren wouldn't have it any other way. Levi loves Eren, and Eren loves Levi, and that’s all that really matters.

Eren lets himself take one last look at his arm as sleep creeps up on him, let’s the love he feels mingle with the joy and peace coming from the man in his arms. He isn’t sure if all soulmates feel this way after, doesn’t know if the soulbond is working its magic or if he’s just that in love, but for the first time in his life he feels at ease, feels liberated from the trials of his life. For the first time in his life, he feels whole.

**I love you shitty brat.**

Levi can’t help staring at it too, running his fingertips gingerly over his thoughts, tracing the words in awe of the thing. Levi can't see his own mark, but he feels it pulsing and he's pretty sure it says something similar. They may not have long to live, they may lose each other one day, but for now they have **_this_ ** , and as he drifts off to sleep Levi knows all the rest of the shit is worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying, you're crying. 
> 
> Anyway it's been real, it's been fun, it's been real fun, but everything must come to an end eventually. I hope you guys felt you got the ending you wanted... I know it's cliche to end with them sleeping together and I'm sure it's not going to be everyone's favorite conclusion, but it just felt right for this? IDK, it is what it is, but I'd love to hear what if you guys liked it.
> 
> Mad love to everyone who stuck it through and stayed to the end and commented and kudoed. Y'all kept me going.
> 
> -Lo


End file.
